One of the most hotly anticipated movies of the year is finally here. Wuthering Heights, directed by Emerald Fennell, hit theatres last Friday, and given how delightfully unhinged the trailer looked, I sprinted to see it. The audience was almost entirely couples, which made sense because it was Valentine’s Day—though why this was the chosen date-night movie remains unclear.
If you’ve read Wuthering Heights, you’ll know this is no run-of-the-mill love story. It’s a twisted, long-drawn, intergenerational psychodrama about passion, lust, yearning, and revenge, where things get deeply incestuous (at least in the novel). So yes, I spent a good chunk of the runtime wondering how the date-night crowd was processing all this.
This version is far from a faithful adaptation, something Fennell has been upfront about from the jump. She even put the title in quotation marks to signal that it’s her spin on the story. And while it’s tamer in some respects, it still makes you feel many of the emotions the book does. Will it make you root for the lovers’ happily-ever-after? Possibly. Will you feel anger, disgust, and full-body loathing? One hundred per cent.
Below, every thought that crossed my mind while watching this absolutely mental movie:
1. Is this movie really starting with the sound of a man jerking off? Oh no, it’s a hanging! The gallows are creaking and this man is suffocating. Why does he have a boner? I’m crying.
2. Very pretty title slate. Hair is still having its moment.
3. Mr Earnshaw brings home a kid off the street. He shall be a “pet” for his daughter, Cathy. She names him Heathcliff after her dead brother. Nice.
4. Owen Cooper is such a great fit to play young Heathcliff. Charlotte Mellington is fab, too! She’s such a brat!
5. Wow, what’s this lustrous black exterior? Production designer Suzie Davies told AD she chose high-gloss tiles to make them look as if they were “either sweating, crying, or exuding some kind of bodily fluid”.
6. How nice to see children being children pre-technology. Sprinting across the moors. Capturing rats and decapitating them in a bucket with a blunt wooden stick. Getting soaked over and over. I’m surprised how neither of them has fallen sick yet. It’s sooooo windy up here.
7. Oh no, Mr Earnshaw beats him! Poor, poor kid.
8. They’re all grown up! And they have a new neighbour who’s loaded!
9. They may not have cast a brown Heathcliff, but Nelly Dean is played by Hong Chau and Edgar Linton by Shazad Latif. How Bridgerton-esque!
10. Wait, there’s more bodily fluids. Cracked eggs placed under young Heathcliff’s sheets, which he is now fingering (Flashback to Timmy C fingering the peach in CMBYN). Snail slime. Glistening dough. This movie is very, very wet.
11. They’re so impoverished with Mr Earnshaw’s drinking and gambling they can’t afford to light a fire. This really sucks. But Heathcliff smashing the chair he’s sitting on for firewood to warm up Cathy is just so fkn comical. They can afford to break a chair?
12. Cathy’s bored out of her mind waiting for the new bachelor on the block to swing by and fall in love with her, so naturally, she goes to spy on them.
13. I thought I was bad at telling stories, but Isabella Linton’s retelling of Romeo and Juliet is actually the worst story my ears have ever heard.
14. Sick digs, Edgar Linton. MTV would’ve loved to have you on Cribs.
15. Cathy’s had a fall. Of course, they discover her and take her in.
16. She’s more a lady than she’s ever been upon her return to the Heights. Her ribbon braids (courtesy Isabella) are so gorgeous. Shoutout to the hair team.
17. What’s happening downstairs? This scene is so creepy, sweet, and horny at the same time.
18. One thing is for certain: Cathy loves the great outdoors. Should she be pleasuring herself in public? Ideally, no. But there’s not another soul for miles.
19. Heathcliff catches her in the act. Wow, he’s lifted her by her milkmaid-y corset! I’m worried for her back.
20. He’s licked her fingers clean (the ones she was getting busy with obv) and proclaimed now that he “has her” he can follow her like a dog to the ends of the world. Unhinged horniness.
21. This Charli XCX soundtrack is killing me. I wanna be on a windswept heath with this score blasting in the background!
22. Mr Linton, what are you doing here? That was a quick proposal.
23. Of course, Nelly’s right to tell Cathy she should marry Edgar. Not like a woman could actually go out and get a job at a magazine that somehow pays rent in Manhattan and for a closet full of Manolos during this age. No room for broke boy propaganda here! Heathcliff leaves, bye bitch!
24. Okay, now I actually feel bad for Cathy. She’s devastated. Nelly is lowkey forcing her to marry Edgar but what choice does she have?
25. “Tighter! Tighter! Tighter!” Cathy instructs Nelly as she’s tightening the shit out of her wedding corset. I’m worried for her ribs! Ouchie.
26. Gosh, she looks beautiful walking down to Thrushcross Grange. The veil and the trail in the wind on the heath!!! Shoutout to Jacqueline Durran. You’re a legend.
27. Wow, this house is even better on the inside. Who’s your interior designer, Mr Linton? A walk-in wardrobe with dresses from France, Belgium, da-da-da, all custom-made to Catherine’s measurements.
28. I’ve been waiting to see Cathy’s pink room. The walls match her skin—veins, moles, and all. Lowkey terrifying and creepy but also cool and romantic? Maybe I’m also going nuts. Ferrell told NYT the room was made with “padded panels with photographs of Margot’s actual skin and veins and freckles printed onto fabric”. Nice.
29. I love this montage of the years at the Grange. It’s like a dreamscape. Durran’s thrown historical accuracy out the window and let her imagination run wild, and it’s fabulous. Cellophane gowns. Jewels that look costume. Wild makeup. A star on the face. Shooting stars on a straw hat.
30. Goldfish in glass vases! Do they move them indoors when it rains or snows?
31. That is one gigantic strawberry. (Bigger than a fist!)
32. Is the tiara the It accessory of 2026? I want to see people wear this out on the street for real.
33. Edgar made his fortune in textiles, so his wardrobe has to be gorgeous, duh!
34. Everything’s super over the top, nice, and cushy. Despite all this, Cathy’s not having a good time. The vibes are off.
35. Mr Earnshaw’s still alive and still an asshole. Merry Christmas!
36. Is Isabella crushing on Cathy? She gives up her ribbon room for her closet. She makes her a doll. The Friendship book she gives her on Christmas Day is overtly… vulvy. I wanna see more of that book.
37. Cathy’s finally pregnant after years of having mid sex with her hubby.
38. The damn eggs in the bed again. Who’s gonna wash these sheets?!
39. Heathcliff is back!!! He’s got a slutty little hoop earring! And a gold tooth! I don’t know if I’m into this new look overall, but he looks clean—which is always a good thing.
40. The lovers are reunited! Beautiful cinematography. “You’re rich!” gasps Cathy. This is so sad and funny at the same time. She invites Heathcliff to dinner. How bad could this be?
41. The dinner is… Well, awkward doesn’t even begin to cover it. Isabella is smitten by the handsome and well-clothed Heathcliff, who’s smoking a pipe and uninterested in answering any questions.
42. Who knows the source of his newfound wealth? Who cares? He’s hot. The movie theatre erupts into laughter a bunch of times at Isabella simping over him. I’m cackling.
43. Rhinestone freckles on Cathy’s face look super random and fun.
44. He tells her he’ll go after Isabella just to torture her. Nice. It’s giving Cruel Intentions vibes.
45. This swing is perhaps the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Cathy’s Swiss peasant dress is so, so beautiful. She’s also an Asshole with a capital A.
46. Ohhh Isabella is MAD! RIP Cathy’s doll.
47. Finally, RIP Mr Earnshaw. The black veil whipping in the wind and against Cath’s face. Even better than her wedding veil. Wowowow.
48. Nelly my girl has clocked it. She’s calling it.
49. Of course, Cathy and Heathcliff throw themselves at each other and have a lot of crazy hot sex in every fathomable setting each chance they get. Including on the heath in the rain. It’s a miracle neither’s contracted pneumonia yet for how much rainy cardio they got to. I want to know what chyavanprash they’re having.
50. Of course, Heathcliff sneaks into her bedroom and licks the skin wall. Thank god she’s knocked up already cause things could get really messy.
51. But of course, this has to end. Cathy finally confesses she’s preggers with Edgar’s bébé. She tells Heathcliff to bounce but hooks up with him again?
52. Heathcliff is such a dog. But one that’s very, very committed to consent. He asks Isabella, “Do you want me to stop?” at least four times after telling her he’s gonna treat her “abominably”, which he does obviously. Why, Isabella, why would you choose this? Got to give it to Heathcliff for being so honest and upfront about his evil intentions, though.
53. Poor Edgar is having to deal with this shit. He’s actually the nicest. I’d give everyone the sack if I were him.
54. They elope and he treats her like garbage (who would’ve thought?) and makes her write letters to Cathy, which Nelly receives and throws into the fire. He doesn’t kill Isabella’s dog (thank god!) but chains her like one. This is just very, very uncomfortable to watch.
55. Nelly’s super involved in this mess for someone who claims to be sick of the drama.
56. Cathy’s pregnant and sick ’cause she refuses to eat. This can’t end well.
57. Ouch! Sepsis really does look horrifying and extremely painful. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemies.
58. OoOOohh leeches. Arranged in a very pretty shape on the skin wall and on Cathy’s body. This movie remains moist till the very end.
59. Thick, red blood oozes and flows down the sheets into a pool at the foot of the bed. Again, who’s gonna wash these sheets? It’s gonna be a task.
60. RIP Catherine. She really does look so dead. Shoutout to the hair and makeup team again. Heathcliff kisses her cold grey lips over and over, telling her to haunt him for as long as he lives. And scene.
61. At least he didn’t dig up his beloved’s casket and dry-hump it like he does in the novel (fr). Not gonna lie: this movie has left me feeling a bit unsettled. Fennell’s actually made this her signature (See: Promising Young Woman, Saltburn). Does it hold a candle to the source material? Debatable. Still, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable watch.
